We’ve experienced the doctor’s house and the asylum, but this third season of “American Horror Story” finds us in a coven. That’s right folks, burn some incense or something because this season is about to get witchy. Before I go further, just remember that this is a recap, and by its very nature is full of spoilers.
Young Zoe (Taissa Farmiga) decides to lose her virginity to her boyfriend. He gently begins the act, when suddenly he dies of a brain aneurysm. (I thought that’s how guys wanted to die – while getting laid. Perhaps I misunderstood. It didn’t look all that fun to me.) After this tragic occurrence, Zoe’s family ships her off to Miss Robichaux’s Academy in New Orleans where she encounters other young witches. At the tutelage of Cordelia Fox (Sarah Paulson), what could possibly go wrong?
Enter Fiona (Jessica Lange). She wants to be young and vital so she funds research on a regenerative drug. When researcher David doesn’t deliver an effective cure to achieve her desired result, she works some crazy magic and sucks his youth and vitality from him, leaving his corpse. Fiona heads to New Orleans to help her daughter train the witches in Cordelia’s academy after seeing a report on a witch being burned in the area.
Cordelia creates potions and differs in her mother’s beliefs regarding the best way to survive as a witch in the world. Fiona wants to strengthen the witches’ powers while Cordelia prefers to blend and appear less conspicuous. It only takes one YouTube video to expose everything! This results in some mother/daughter tension when Fiona arrives. Her presence in New Orleans will likely be the cause of many conflicts ahead.
Actress Madison Montgomery’s (Emma Roberts) special power of telekinesis lands her in the house after she kills a director for instructing her to hit her mark so the light hits her. She ensures the light hits him instead. Classy Madison. I like your style.
Queenie (Gabourey Sidibe) demonstrates her special power as a human voodoo doll during an argument with Madison, making me want to see more. However, Nan (Jamie Brewer) breaks it up and convinces Queenie to go for a walk. Nan just knows things, but come on! A human voodoo doll? Nan, why did you cut that short? Why??
For some reason in New Orleans not only do famous actresses get text messages to attend frat parties, but they actually go to them! I don’t’ know if I believe this scenario, but I will ask the next successful actress with whom I speak whether or not this ever, ever happens. Kyle (Evan Peters) is the good frat guy. The rest of them are your stereotypical fraternity type. Madison gets drugged and raped by two of the frat boys while Zoe meets Kyle and instantly feels an attraction. Of course, her special power of screwing guys to death forces her to attempt an emotional distance. When Kyle and Zoe search for Madison, Kyle finds her in the upstairs bedroom while his fraternity brothers videotape their crime. Kyle pulls them off, yells at them to destroy the videos, and all of them end up on a bus. Zoe helps Madison then runs to catch the guilty party. Shortly afterwards, Madison uses her power to crash the bus, killing several passengers. Not knowing who survives and who dies causes turmoil for Zoe because she really has feelings for Kyle.
Fiona meets the girls and after hurling Madison into a wall, and getting everyone to change into black, she takes them all on a field trip where we all get to learn about Marie Laveau (Angela Bassett) and Madame LaLaurie (Kathy Bates).
Madame LaLaurie stays young by making tonics using pancreases from slaves whom she tortures in the attic. She tortures the wrong slave, Marie Laveau’s lover, resulting in an act of revenge. Marie poisons Madame LaLaurie with a tonic that tastes like honeysuckle.
Of course, this isn’t really the end of Madame LaLaurie. It’s Kathy Bates, for goodness sake! Luckily Nan shows Fiona where she’s buried and Fiona gets her out and wakes her up. Of course, Fiona, still obsessed with being young, asks Madame LaLaurie her secrets to her success.
Zoe visits the hospital to see if Kyle is one of the survivors. Instead she finds the rapist to be the survivor. She decides to use her special witchy gift to kill him, so she climbs on top and rides him until he has a brain aneurysm. Killer sex.
The season starts off strong. I’m hoping it lives up to the expectations it’s creating. I also hope to see much more of Marie Laveau. Which character are you most interested in seeing more? Let us know!