“X-Men: Days Of Future Past” comes out in like 2 years or something, but that hasn’t stopped us from getting excited about it. Director Bryan Singer announced that Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart will be reprising their roles as Magneto and Professor X respectively. I like those actors a great deal and seeing them back alongside their younger counterparts (Michael Fassbender and James MacAvoy) will probably blow our minds a little bit. But “Days Of Future Past” (or at least the comic book story ark on which the film is being based upon) is a strange beast. It concerns a time hopping Kitty Pryde trying to save the present from a future that has become overrun by government mandates to exterminate “The Mutant Menace” by way of giant robots. If you thought that premise sounded cool, you would be correct. Being a time travel movie, it’s actually a perfect opportunity for Fox to recast and bring back all the familiar mutants from “X-Men” through to “The Last Stand” without breaking continuity too much (although to be honest its pretty freaking broken) as “Days Of Future Past” features all your past favourites like Cyclops, Iceman, Angel, Storm and Nightcrawler as well as some that were rebooted in “First Class” such as Beast, Mystique and Moira McTaggert. But where is the fun in showing us characters that have already had screen time? Sure, we’re already familiar with their back stories and powers and whatnot, but lets get silly here! I’m going to present to you 10 characters that we here at Nuclear Salad want to see rising up against humanity and kicking some giant robot tail, and because I’ve got nothing better to do I’ll also present you with my 2 cents as to who should play them…
No, no. Not the sweet android from “Aliens”. This Bishop would fit in perfectly with the whole Sentinel/time traveling thing going on. He was born in an alternate reality, not unlike the one presented in this tale, where Sentinels round up mutants and place them into “relocation camps”. He has been branded with that big letter “M” over his eye for identification purposes. All this stuff parallels Magneto’s time spent in Nazi concentration camps beautifully, and his time traveling history makes him a perfect candidate for this story. Hell, I feel he could take over the Kitty Pryde role and be our guide throughout this madness. I’m going to give this role to “Black Dynamite” actor Michael Jai White. He’s a big beefy dude, just hook him up with some jheri curls and, BOOM! Bishop.
Hands up if you like assassins. How about sexy assassins? Well Domino’s got you covered. Neena Thurman was born as a product of super secret government breeding program. When will governments learn to stop trying to grow mutants in labs? It’s just going to end in tears. Any way Neena used her mutant abilities to escape and bailed out and became a mercenary. Domino has some pretty cool powers to go along with her enhanced agility and reflexes as well as her sweet merc skills. She is able to manipulate probability to essentially give herself good luck in tricky situations. You just know this would come in handy when writing a screenplay. She’s like a walking “Get Out Of Jail Free Card”. If you’re in the know, Domino is essentially the girl version of Longshot from X-Force but she doesn’t have all that Mojo World baggage weighing her down (seriously, don’t ask). After seeing “Dredd” I was enamored with Olivia Thirlby who played Anderson. Dye her hair black, give her the make up job that those crappy “vampires” from Twilight get and you’re sorted.
Forge is a native American Indian and a Vietnam war vet so straight off the bat you know he’s a badass. Add to this the fact that he has the mystical abilities of a shaman and can wield magic and I don’t know why Forge hasn’t been in an X-Men movie yet. Maybe it’s because he lost his arm and leg in the war and replaced them with mechanical ones he built himself. No, it can’t be that, everyone loves cyborgs. Maybe its those boots. But check out that sweet mustache! If only Tom Selleck could play Forge. But, yeah that ain’t gonna happen. I thought Frank Grillo killed it in “The Grey”, and although he’s not native American, he gets my vote.
Okay, so I picked the bone girl. Why did I pick the bone girl? Well duh, because she has an accelerated metabolism and bone growth and can use her own bones as swords and throwing knives! Who doesn’t want to see that on the big screen. It would be totally tough and gross at the same time. Shes practically half armadillo half ninja. Marrow was a from a group of mutants called the Morlocks who live in underground tunnels and they had this whole thing going on with the Marauders who wanted them dead, which is something that could be used in later films. But she does have this whole teen angst/fight for your right thing going on, so if the second class came across her in their time travelling adventures she could easily slot into their ranks. I kinda wanted to say Chloe Grace-Motetz but that seems like a cop out. She’s in everything. Instead I’m going to go with English actress Lily Cole who was last seen in “Snow White And The Huntsman”. I haven’t seen that movie, but I think she’d make a pretty rad Marrow.
Sam Guthrie was born into a world that hates and fears him. Sam Guthrie was also born with the power to generate a thermo-chemical energy out of his body, so essentially he is a human jet-pack. Sam Guthrie will take what he can get. Everybody loved the crazy Texan kid in and his rope swinging antics in “Mighty Ducks 2 & 3″ right? Well swap Texas for Kentucky and cowboy rope for high speed flight and blast fields and we’re onto a winner. Alex Pettyfer was pretty good in “Magic Mike” and if “The Walking Dead” has taught me anything, it’s that British people do pretty good southern accents.
Legion is the son of Charles Xavier and Gabrielle Haller the Israel ambassador to Great Britain. Charles and Gabrielle had a torrid love affair in Israel one time and the result was Legion, or David as he also likes to be known. Legion’s skill set is that he manifests different personalities and each personality will have a different ability. For instance: Jack Wayne, a loudmouth adventurer, think Henry Jones Senior on crack, with the power of telekinesis. Sally, a huge fat Debbie downer of a woman who has super-strength, Hugh Davidson, a preppy jerk with a lizard tongue, a pirate that vomits up acid and a centaur. But best of all is the Personality Legion dubs the “real me” where he considers himself to be a mutant god. The tricky bugger can warp reality and manipulate time to his liking so he can become nigh on unstoppable. He would make a good adversary or at least a good excuse for alternate timelines with children and his time warping abilities could come in handy. Xavier meeting an insane child he could have in the future or in a different time-line has all kinds of awesome possibilities. I think Jay Baruchel has the chops to pull off schizophrenic and he has that whole big hair thing going on. Plus he’s from Canada. I have all sorts of time for Canadians.
Now that i think about it, I don’t know why I chose Dazzler. She is kind of the mutant equivalent of techno club. In human form. Dazzler can take sounds from the environment around her and convert them into light. So like lasers, and strobes and even holograms and shit. It’s actually not that exciting. Who the hell came up with character? Any way I still want to see this hot girl bombing around on her roller skates in a white jumpsuit and KISS makeup, shooting rainbow laser beams out of her finger tips and eyes. Roller derby is pretty popular these days, maybe you could have this tough roller derby chick who shoots laser beams out of her eyes. Either way give me roller skates and laser eyes and you can have my money. Alison Pill was really great in “Scott Pilgrim VS The World” and “Goon” and now I want to see her shoot laser beams out of her eyes.
Once again this is just me being a proud Australian. I just want to see an Aussie mutant. Is that too much to ask? Gateway is a native Australian, an aboriginal, and his mutant powers enable him to open up worm holes through space and time using the spirits of his fellow aboriginal people. He spins his “bullroarer” (which is just a carved down hunk of wood on a piece of rope, but it has such a badass name) above his head and hey presto! Warp tunnels. Once again, this would be a genius way to start the time-hopping adventure, just make a quick pit stop in the Australian Outback. There is another younger teleporter that is also part of Gateway’s tribe, Eden Fesi so you could pretty easily get him in on the action too. Now, not many people will get this reference, but if I could see Ernie Dingo (crocodile Dundee II) in an X-Men movie, I would die a happy man.
We can’t all be heroes, and those heroes need a cool big bad to fight. That’s why I’ve chosen Sauron. He is a big jerk who also happens to be a humanoid Pterodactyl. He’s probably not going to fit in too well with the whole Days Of Future Past thing, but he’s a god damn giant Pterodactyl man. He deserves a place on the big screen and in our hearts. See also; Devil Dinosaur. Just for my editor and all round top bloke Jason, I think Sauron should be voiced and mo-capped by Danny DeVito, for no other reason than it would be fucking hilarious.
Cue nerd rage in 3…2…1… Yes, I understand that this is a post about an X-Men movie and Franklin Richards is clearly a Fantastic 4 character, but hear me out here. Due do his parents freaky genetics Franklin Richards was actually born a mutant. Yes, the son of Mr. Fantastic and The Invisible Woman is mutie scum. Unlike most mutants whose powers appear around the same time that one would go through puberty, Franklin’s powers started manifesting at birth. Luckily his parents are used to crazy shit like, Negative Zones, and mole people and old college buddies with metal face plates because Franklin was born an omega level mutant. Yep, one of the most powerful (if not THE most powerful) mutants getting about. Franklin can perform bullshit strong telekinetic and psionic based attacks, he can rearrange the molecular structure of matter and energy, even on a cosmic scale and he can also warp reality and wish you out of existence if he wants. Franklin Richards is so powerful he makes Galactus shit his pants. So even if he’s a mutant, he’s still a Fantastic 4 character, how would he fit in here? Well call me crazy, but this could be an excellent opportunity for some Marvel Studios style foreshadowing and crossover stuff. See, Fantastic 4 is another Marvel property owned by Fox so they should own the rights to Franklin Richards. Have him show up instead of Kitty Pryde, and you’ve got one hell of a advertisement for the upcoming Fantastic 4 movie. You wouldn’t even have to make mention of this stuff in an F4 movie, because this Franklin could be from the future, warning the mutants that if they don’t save the present, their friends and his parents will die. I think that would be all sorts of radical. Mark Millar are you listening?!?! Dane Dehaan kinda sorted already played a similar character in “Chronicle” but on a smaller scale. He looks the part and I think he could keep up with Fass and McEvoy. His “Chronicle” director Josh Trank could do worse than consider him for anything in his “Fantastic 4″ reboot. He absolutely had that Storm family look about him.
So what do you kids think? Can you get even sillier than that? Please make me aware of any crazy characters you would like to see in “X-Men: Days Of Future Past”? Bonus points to anyone that says Doop or Herman.
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